I have been talking to a couple mommy friends about things that drive them crazy, mostly things that have been said to them about their baby, etc. I am going to address some of these statements and hopefully it will help others understand that sometimes it's just not okay to say certain things to a new/experienced mother.
1. Are you going back to work/ Why wouldn't you go back to work? First off I just had a baby, let me breathe. Second, let me enjoy my child and not have to worry about that for a while. Some women (myself included) love their jobs and want to go back, others have no choice and have to work to earn a second income. You know what? That's awesome! You go girl! Some women feel differently and stay at home, they can't see ever going back to work and you know what? That's awesome! You go girl! Sometimes this question can be okay, I know a lot of people asked me what I planned on doing and most of the time I was totally okay with people asking me, but when I started getting judged for what my response was that's when I would get really upset.
2. When do you guys plan on having another one? Oh you know, we plan on popping another one out tomorrow! Just don't. This question is so obnoxious, most people enjoy reveling in their beautiful child and want to enjoy him/her for a while.
3. Why did you have a 3rd one when you already have a boy and a girl?/ Oh you have to keep trying for (gender not represented) No, just no. Most people just want a healthy baby regardless what gender they are. You're going to love that baby no matter what. Some people just love and want lots of kids. Yes some people are happy once they have a boy and a girl and that's all they want. Good for them! Leave them alone they're happy. Lets just leave everyone alone with this question, we all hate it.
4. You didn't find out the gender? I couldn't do that. Good for you! Sometimes people like surprises, don't question why they didn't want to find out the gender. I think this would be one of the best surprises in the whole world!
5. He/She looks nothing like you! Why would anyone decide this is a good thing to say to any mom? Sometimes this hurts peoples feelings, and you have to remember you are dealing with a very hormonal mother. Just stick with "you're baby is beautiful" and you'll be golden.
6. He/She looks like (insert word here) I have heard so many different variations of this statement, and It makes me want to rip out my hair. Seriously? Why would you look at a new born baby and say he/she looks like anything but a beautiful brand new baby. NO the baby does not look like an alien, some sort of vegetable, troll, etc and if you think this, let me stick YOU in the birthing canal for an extended period of time and see how you look when you come out. I know when I had my baby I couldn't imagine seeing anything more beautiful and perfect. I know people think its funny and they say it as a joke, but this hurts peoples feelings. This mom just made the most beautiful creature to ever grace this earth and you're going to tell her that he/she looks like something other than beautiful? Just don't, sometimes keeping your comments to yourself is the best option, especially if you think something like this.
7. Are you breastfeeding?/ Why aren't you breastfeeding? Most of the time it's a friendly question from an expecting mother who wants the pros and cons of both, which is perfectly okay and most of the time you can have a good discussion about this. Its when people you don't even know ask you. Its weird, just stop. I don't want some stranger asking about my boobs unless I'm bra shopping. Sometimes this question really hurts some women. Some women can't breastfeed and when you question them it can really hurt some feelings. If they're formula feeding their baby don't criticize them. They are doing the best they can for their baby so shut it.
8. Put some clothes on that baby! It's probably freezing! Oh hey thanks for reminding me to dress my child! I knew I forgot something! This one is my personal favorite! I get this far too often and I hate it more and more every time. It makes me feel like a crappy mom and contrary to popular belief I actually like feeling good about myself. I know I dress my child in the right amount of clothing that I feel she needs. Don't go telling me how cold her feet are when it's 75 flipping degrees inside. Or when its cold out, don't tell me to put more layers on her. I know I dressed her in plenty of warm layers. She's warm and happy leave us alone.
9. Can you even remember life before having him/her? Yes,yes I can. I had full nights of sleep and did what ever I wanted. It was glorious! Now, would I ever trade my life now to go back to my old life? Never in a million years!
10. You're still wearing maternity clothes? Yes, yes I am. Most women I know (myself included) can't fit into their pre pregnancy clothes for a little while. After pushing a baby out your hips don't just snap back to where they used to be. What's the point on going out and buying a whole new wardrobe when those clothes wont fit you in a couple months. Do I enjoy not being able to ever wear jeans and look semi decent? No not at all, some days I sit and complain because I have one pair of pants that fits me and they're white. I don't want to wear those everyday especially since my baby spits up all the time! Don't judge what someones wearing, ever. Lets be real though, maternity pants are super comfortable!
Those are just a few things that I've heard from other moms/ personal experience! What are some that you've heard?
